The Writer's Life 1/7 - Love, Football, Sci-Fi & Snow

I don't enjoy trashing books or films, as I know how much artists put into their work, so I considered not saying anything about how much I disliked Love, Actually (2003). I added it to my Netflix list only because it was touted as a favorite Christmas movie of Sara Stewart, one of the NY Post's critics. Set in London, it has an all-star lineup of Brit heavyweights, plus America's Laura Linney, always a welcome presence. It follows multiple story lines that eventually climax at a children's school play.To a point, some are interesting. The one I enjoyed most was Liam Neeson as a stepdad whose wife has died and whose pre-teen stepson has fallen into unrequited love, but even that was spoiled by an over the top pursuit. One aspect I hated was the gratuitous profanity, which was ridiculous in every case except that of the vulgar rock star on a comeback. Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean, does an amusing turn as a department store salesman/clerk. Although its heart is almost always in the right place, I was not swept up into the events as I was by the Christmas classics that have stood the test of time. It doesn't even approach the level of Scrooged (1988), which had great moments. It will be interesting to see how Love Actually will be remembered years hence. 332,000+ users at IMDb have rated it, forging to an impressive consensus of 7.7. I completely disagree. On a scale of five, 1.5. The film was written and directed by Richard Curtis, who has many credits as a screenwriter and only three as a director. The only other of his works I've seen is Bridget Jones' Diary (2001), which I liked. Those who prefer traditional holiday fare should pass. Not only is there much profanity, there is gratuitous nudity as well. Two of the characters are soft core porn stars. I shouldn't have been surprised by that now that porn is mainstream. For anyone who thinks I'm being an old fuddy-duddy, I liked Bad Santa (2003).

University of Minnesota coach Tracy Claeys was fired earlier this week after a 9-4 season that ended with a victory in the Holiday Bowl. He was done in by his support for his players' threat of a boycott of the game. 10 teammates were suspended following an investigation into a sexual assault allegation. The rest demanded their reinstatement, but eventually backed down. Claeys' loss is P.J. Fleck's gain. Fleck guided my alma mater, Western Michigan, to an 13-1 record, its only loss to powerful Wisconsin in the Cotton Bowl. It was the Bronco's third straight bowl appearance. His departure was expected. Good luck, sir, and thank you. Already six of his recruits are following him from WMU to Minnesota... As for the NFL's wild card weekend, the Raiders are down to their third string QB, Connor Cook, who will be making his first pro start vs. the Texans in Houston. A fine 12-win season seems to be dissolving into huge disappointment for the black and silver... I think Detroit has an excellent chance of winning in Seattle, where the Seahawks have been invincible the past few years. Their decline continued this season... I'd love to see the Dolphins beat the Steelers, but the recent history of these two teams points to an easy Pittsburgh victory... As for the Giants, Eli Manning is overdue to have a good game, and the Giants shouldn't be at all intimidated by playing on the frozen tundra, where they have won twice on their way to Super Bowl victories. I've finally remembered to mention how well they've drafted the past two seasons. Kudos to GM Jerry Reese.

The Post's Weird But True column mentions an appendectomy that led to the discovery of something that looks as if its out of science fiction. A Teratoma is a tumor made up of tissues, such as hair, muscle and bone. It occurs most often in the ovaries of women and testicles of men, and may be benign or malignant. Symptoms vary. A painful lump or swelling may be apparent. Some babies have a mass that can be seen on an ultrasound before birth. Treatment often involves surgery. In rare cases of malignancy, chemotherapy or radiation may be needed. Fortunately, it is rare, fewer than 20,000 cases per year in the USA. Here's a pic of one of the many available on the web:

The floating book shop was snowed-out today. Fortunately, I was able to get a lot of chores done without incident using my car. While parked near a playground I witnessed a scene that would be perfect for a modern Christmas flick - a dad pushing his little girl on a swing, each undeterred by the storm.

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The Writer's Life 1/6 - Surprises & Salt

The term Free Mason is shrouded in mystery, the same kind that fits Scientology, the type that Dan Brown has earned millions writing about in his Illuminati novels. What the heck is a Mason? What do they do? Are they plotting to take over the world, as some have claimed? I came upon a top ten secrets list about them at listverse.com, which featured an addendum at the end that said the items may or may not be true, which invalidated it in my eyes. Then I searched for a list of famous Masons. George Washington and other notable politicians were members. Most surprising were these names: jazz great William “Count” Basie, Harry Houdini, Richard Pryor, “Sugar Ray” Robinson, Jack Dempsey, and Chicago Bulls forward Scottie Pippin. This suggests there is no color or religious barrier (Houdini was Jewish). The most common criterion of members seems to be success in one's field. A Google search about the society will bring up numerous sites critical of it. I am sure Masons sin just like everyone else, but I found nothing convincing about its aims. If they intend to take over the world, they sure have taken their sweet time about it. The blackest mark I found against them is that the creep who went on the murderous jag against against children in Norway was a member. The organization immediately gave him the boot. Conclusion? I don't see a threat. I suppose conspiracy theorists would view the unusual, surprising members in the same way the communists viewed useful idiots.

Here are two headlines from today's Yahoo Odd News: "Woman drives into river to avoid cops, boozes as car floats." "Naked woman who stole deputy's truck in custody after chase." I wonder if the "ladies" are related.

Although I approved the simulated version of my next novel, I'm not going to announce it until I have the print copy I ordered in hand. If it looks good, I'll order 50 and tell the world it's ready.

An ugly morning evolved to a beautiful afternoon of brilliant sunshine. I hustled to the car, thrilled I wouldn't be housebound. The snow on the windshield and on the roof had melted. I had to clear only the side and rear windows, which was quick work. To my surprise, every parking spot near my usual book nook was occupied, which indicated the alternate side regulation must have been suspended. I usually sit in the car for a half-hour in a primo spot, waiting for it to expire. I didn't want to take a chance on waiting for someone to leave, a chance that might not materialize, so I headed to my alternate location. While business wasn't nearly as good as yesterday, it was well worthwhile. My thanks to the kind folks who made purchases. The most interesting had been donated by Mr. Conspiracy. The titles say all that is needed to know about his politics: War is a Racket: The Antiwar Classic by America's Most Decorated Soldier by Smedley Darlington Butler and Dragan Nikolic (only 68 pages), and Conservatives Without Conscience by John W. Dean, the man who worked in the Nixon White House and offered damaging testimony in the Watergate scandal. My thanks also to the woman who donated a shoe box full of Nora Roberts paperbacks. She and her husband have given me scores of best sellers the past few years. I kept my own books in clear plastic, at first because I had set up directly beneath a tree and didn't want melting snow falling on them. When everything had dried and vehicles had crushed the salt that had been put on the roads, the dust was visible in the air. My Hyundai was covered in it. As I drove up 85th Street on my way home, there was a continuous, thick line of rock salt more than a foot wide. There had been only trace accumulation, and the crews went at it as if it there'd been a blizzard, which makes one wonder if they are required to use it all. Typical government overkill and inefficiency.

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The Writer's Life 1/5 - Birth, TV & a Fot

Let's take a break from troubling items and celebrate life, as reported in the following story at Yahoo's Odd News, rendered in my own words. Amanda Sherman, 24, gave birth Monday when she went to the restroom of a car dealership in suburban Pittsburgh. "I went to pee and then, I don't know, I was all of the sudden holding her," she said, adding she felt little pain or contractions. "I hollered for help and some woman who happened to be a registered nurse came through the door." Her husband called 911 and the dispatcher talked him through the process of tying off the baby's umbilical cord with a boot lace, as an ambulance was on the way. "I can't say enough about how great they treated us," he said of the dealership. "Everyone there stepped up and helped." The story will be told thousands of times by all involved.

From an article in today's NY Post: This seems really cool. LG is introducing a TV that can be hung on a wall like a poster. It's just one-tenth of an inch thick, barely thicker than a piece of cardboard. Available in 65 and 77 inch options, it mounts to a wall with a remarkably simple system of two keyhole-style locks at the top, and magnets at the bottom to keep the screen flush against the mounting surface. All of its hardware is stored in a device armed with Dolby Atmos surround sound. Here's a pic:

The process of getting a book on the market is occasionally maddening. I made the changes I wanted to the Word manuscript file of my next novel, converted it to PDF at a free website, added page numbers at yet another free site, downloaded it to my desktop, and submitted it to Create Space. This morning I received an email saying it was ready for proofing. Wisely, I resisted the urge to assume everything was hunky-dorry, and downloaded a simulated copy. The numbers were missing. Sure enough, they were missing from the PDF file as well, despite its self titled "... with numbers." I did the same steps, and again uploaded it to CS. When I tried to finalize, there came a message that the book cover had yet to be submitted. I did that several times before it finally took. I just looked at my inbox and noticed CS has already sent me a digital copy to be proofed. I bet they're as anxious to get this over with as I am. Brother.

The wind was a tad too strong at my usual nook, so I took the floating book shop to an alternate site, and the results were very good. The first hour and a half was tough. as the sun was barely visible beyond the cloud cover. As I'd hope, the books in Russian drew attention. My thanks to the woman who bought ten of them, and the gentleman who bought one. It was cold and I considered leaving early. Then the sun broke through. Its warmth enabled me to stay another hour. Johnny came by, miffed that his phone had died. Despite having had to buy a new one, he bought three thrillers. Ann bought a beautiful pictorial on Britain's royal family for her her 87-year-old mother in law, who has buried her three sons, and who is still reading books and doing the New York Times crossword puzzle daily. And I had a visit from Bad News Billy, whose granddaughter is fighting a cold and walking around like a zombie due to medication, which he aped. As we were conversing he backed away and started fanning the air behind him. "I laid a fot," he said, a phrase I hadn't heard in perhaps 50 years. For those outside the five boroughs of NYC, that's the same as "cut a fart." Billy forked over some cash for the next time I have videos and DVDs available. My thanks.

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The Writer's Life 1/4 - Passages

While on my morning walk I recalled an incident from my college years that would fit perfectly into the novel I plan to self-publish shortly, proving once again that no book is ever truly finished. The thoughts add color, make it better. I have two worries - that it will throw the formatting off and, since the passage is in essence a first draft, that I'll miss any errors it contains. Here it is as of now: He recalled a similar feeling experienced early in his freshman year. One night, curious, he decided to take the back way to the Valley Two dorms, up the long stairway comprised of what seemed railroad ties. As he approached the first room on the ground floor of Eicher Hall, he noticed that the curtain hadn't been fully drawn. He peered inside and saw a blond beauty dressing, donning a full array of white undergarments. He stepped back as if drawn by a magnet and took another gander, and the young woman returned a smirk that made him feel two-feet tall. He hurried away, wondering if what he'd done was abnormal, thinking that her date would have a lot to do to get lucky. He feared he would be reported - the guy with the funny nose. He wasn't. Every day he looked for that woman in the dining hall, and never spotted her.

Noted in the NY Post: Daniel Silva has written 19 thrillers that have cracked the New York Times' best sellers list. He has won the Barry Award twice for best thriller. To date, none of his works have been adapted by Hollywood. They portray Muslims as terrorists, and Israeli intelligence as heroes. Born Catholic, Silva converted to Judaism.

In an op-ed piece in the Post, Betsy McCaughey argues against those who would cut Medicare funding. Here are two reasons she cites as to why the program should be left as is: Since 2000 spending on end-of-life care has dropped from 19% to 13%, and the cost of care for dementia has dropped 24% the past 12 years. She believes Medicaid is a bigger problem. In it, $8000 is spent per recipient, thousands more than what is shelled out for people in private plans.

Governor Cuomo and Bernie Sanders are uniting in a push to make state colleges in NY tuition "free." Imagine how much more expensive it will be if they get their way. Government interference has always increased costs. While the two are at it, they should ask instructors and staff to work on a voluntary basis.

The floating book shop returned after a two-day rain-soaked hiatus. My thanks to the gentleman who donated 34 paperback thrillers in Russian. Of the 14 books that sold today, 12 were in Russian. My thanks to the man who purchased a survivors' manual, and the guy who bought 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want You to Read by Jesse Ventura and Dick Russell.

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The Writer's Life 1/3 - Returns

Last night PBS, channel 21 on Cablevision in NYC, ran the season four premiere of Sherlock. It was powerful. Martin Freeman - Dr. Watson - was outstanding in his key scene. Here are interesting facts about the series from mentalfloss.com: The 2010 debut on BBC One correlated with a sharp uptick in sales of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's printed works. According to Nielsen BookScan, 57,000 copies sold in 2009, 88,000 in 2010... In the USA, eight minutes from each episode are snipped in order to make room for sponsor spots... The location shooting is done not in London but Cardiff, the capital of Wales... There have been only 10 episodes in nearly eight years. Sir Arthur died in 1930. Would he have expected his work to still be resonating so strongly? Amazing. Here's the stellar cast:

There are two interesting side by side articles about product returns in today's NY Post. Each year seven percent of goods are returned by customers, 25% of those after Christmas, to the tune of $260 billion. Two of the most returned items are ping pong tables, which take up a lot of space, and doll houses, many of which require sophisticated assembly.

Here's a shout-out to my alma mater, Western Michigan, despite its 24-16 loss to Wisconsin in the Cotton Bowl. The Broncos finished 13-1. Kudos to head coach P.J. Fleck, his staff, and the players... Alabama is the New England of college football. Clemson will have it hands full in the title game... I just checked out my standing in the ESPN bowl pool. With only one game remaining, I've gotten 83% right, which ranks me in the neighborhood of 141,000th. I thought I'd gotten about 50%, which shows my memory is not as good as it once was. The bowls are a tough pick - even without point lines - because many of the teams haven't played in a month.

Doctors in Vietnam have removed surgical forceps from a man who unknowingly carried them inside his body for 18 years. The guy, 54, said the forceps had probably been left in his abdomen in 1998 when he had emergency surgery after a traffic accident. Imagine how rich he would be if he lived in America. Lawyers would be calling him 24/7.

The floating book shop was rained out for the second straight day, which allowed me to proof a lot of pages in my next novel, Five Cents. So far, in 124 pages, I've found six errors. I will also make two changes, substituting "attired" for "dressed" because I use "dress" to end the sentence, and I will drop "tears in his eyes" from another, as I use it or a similar phrase too often in the narrative.

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The Writer's Life 1/2 - Mae, NFL, Elvis

Nothing struck my fancy in today's news, so I ran a search for interesting items. I found the following in a Top Ten at listverse.com:
By the time Mae West starred in her first movie in 1932, she was already a prolific playwright and stage actress. She used the pen name Jane Mast. In 1927 she wrote and performed a play titled Sex, and was arrested on obscenity charges, fined $500 and sentenced to 10 days in jail. The next year she wrote The Drag and was again arrested.When she transitioned to the silver screen, many conservative groups protested. They claimed her “filth” was not suitable for the movie business. Several newspapers refused to advertise her movies. There's a collection available at Amazon: Three Plays: Sex / The Drag / The Pleasure Man by Mae West, Hardcover $70, Paperback $36, Kindle $26. She also novelized Pleasure Man, wrote The Constant Sinner, and is credited with another, Peel Me a Grape, which lists Joseph Weintraub as "Editor." She also wrote: Goodness Had Nothing to Do with It: The Autobiography of Mae West. The hardcover lists at $115, the paperback $75. I'm not surprised by the bio, but who knew she wrote plays and novels? Here are two of her most famous quotes: "When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better." "Is that a gun [or pistol] in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" (from She Done Him Wrong {1933}) She was half a century ahead of her times.

The NFL playoffs are set. I don't see anyone blocking New England's path to the Super Bowl in the AFC. In the NFC, Dallas is the favorite but Green Bay is red hot. The Packers will host their recent playoff nemesis, the Giants, who have beaten them twice at Lambeau Field in their marches to their last two championships. Is Big Blue destined for another improbable run? It would be even more surprising that the previous two.

I was adding songs to my Windows Media Player today and clicked on Elvis Presley's G.I. Blues, which came up this past weekend on one of the CD's I keep in the car. I listened to it fairly closely and noticed this clever rhyme: "We'd like to be heroes,/ but all we do here is march/ And they don't give the Purple Heart/ for a fallen arch..." It was written by Brooklyn boys Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett, who published 300 compositions as a team, 42 for Elvis. Their most famous overall is Red Roses for a Blue Lady. G. I. Blues is one of the King's neglected tracks. My buddy Bags downloaded it and emailed it to me. He also passed along two other tracks that rarely receive airplay, She's Not You and My Baby Left Me. Any fan not familiar with them should give them a listen. They are beauties.

I'd hoped my new novel, Five Cents, would be available today. Alas, I'm finding errors in the second proof copy, five in the first 81 pages. Curiously, three are omissions, missing words; be, a, his. The other two involve the letter s. One needs to be added, the other dropped. So it looks like publication will be pushed back two weeks.

The floating book shop was rained out today and probably will be tomorrow too.

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The Writer's Life 1/1 - Fresh Start

Pranksters were at it in La La Land yesterday, as evidenced by the picture below:

In January 2014 NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio announced the adoption of Vision Zero (how ironic a title for something concocted by politicians) and enumerated a long list of initiatives the city would be introducing to reduce fatalities on the street. One was lowering the speed limit to 25 MPH. So how has it worked out? In 2016 27 pedestrians were killed, a 38% increase from 2015, 37% more than in 2014. Why have the measures failed? I'd guess the restrictions are ignored, as always, by the reckless. I'm by no means reckless and I find it extremely difficult to go as slow as 30. An unfortunate likelihood is also pedestrian carelessness, whether caused by inebriation, the focusing on an electronic device or crossing against a light or as it is about to turn red. These days I drive fearing I will receive a nuisance ticket. It seems the city is penalizing the 99% who drive safely because of the actions of the one percent who don't. (From the NY Post, in my own words.)

In a macabre though unsurprising turn of events, the recently deceased George Michael has cracked the list of Top Ten albums for the first time in 17 years. His greatest hits collection, Ladies and Gentlemen, is being snapped up.

I think the NHL should be ignored until March, but sometimes something very cool happens that must be mentioned. Last night the Minnesota Wild, winners of 12 straight, faced off against the Columbus Blue Jackets, winners of 14 straight. An article at Yahoo Sports cleverly dubbed the game The Unsustainabowl. Kudos to whomever came up with that tag. By the way, Columbus has now won 15 straight.

The day was so damn beautiful I defied all common sense and opened up the floating book shop, although it was likely many people had stayed up late celebrating last night and would sleep until at least noon. I dropped off before midnight. I wore two less layers and still shunned my winter coat. It was more like late October. Foot traffic wasn't much less than usual. Automobile traffic was. As far as I know, I didn't get a ticket - unless a hidden camera caught me going 35 MPH on Ocean Parkway. My thanks to the young man who went the non-fiction route, purchasing: The Other 90%: How to Unlock Your Vast Untapped Potential for Leadership and Life by Robert K. Cooper and 100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive: Living Deeply and Fully Every Day by Frederic Brussat.

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