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Wednesday, February 6, 2019

The Writer's Life 2/6 - Can't Make It Up

Now we know why Nancy Pelosi was so adamant in not allowing the state of the union address to be given during the government shutdown - and so wary. Polls show a significant majority approve of what President Trump said.  As much as I support him, his call for unity seems a mistake. The swamp has always been unified. The deficit is almost $22 trillion. It didn't get there without cooperation. The national debt has increased 10% since Trump took office. It increased 100% during the Obama administration. I hope that's an indication of progress.

In the "Can't make this stuff up category," Virginia's governor is under fire for having cavorted in blackface; its Lt. Governor, next in the line of succession, has been accused by a professor of a 2004 sexual assault; and its Attorney General wore blackface at a 1980 college party. I would forgive the blackface incidents. The sexual assault must be addressed. So far, those who insisted that the accusations against Supreme Court justice Bret Kavanaugh had to be believed have remained silent on these fresh allegations. I wonder why.

Can't make this up, either. Adidas has pulled a shoe created in honor of Black History Month after facing backlash online. Here it is:


Nor this, although the lie in the lower left corner has been known for some time:


Here's the self-written, unedited, obit of an 82-year-old Canadian woman who must have been a gas to know: "HICKS, Sybil Marie (nee Lyons) It hurts me to admit it… but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m. I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a "Horse's Ass". I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favourite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favourite, Brenda AKA "Hazel" who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac, Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin …grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be. I graduated from Waterdown High School with honors while wearing my shiny bright saddle shoes. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B - Best Class EVER! In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- B's and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was an active horticulturalist, a member of the Eastern Star and a member of the Lion's Club in Baysville. I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted… having been cremated. Please come say goodbye and celebrate my wonderful life with my husband and his special friend Dorothy who is now lovingly taking care of my horse's ass. For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this… it wasn't my husband, it wasn't my oldest, nor was it my youngest… Thank you all for sharing my life with me. I am off to swim to the buoy and back. Love, Sybil" Rest in peace, madam. Thanks for the last minute laughs.

My thanks to Cabbie, who bought four paperback thrillers on another gorgeous winter day.

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