The second Sharknado flick is about to air, which prompted the following article by Reed Tucker in today's NY Post. I edited it and added thoughts in parentheses:
The 10 Most Entertainingly Terrible Movies
1: They Live (1988). It’s got magic sunglasses and stars a wrestler, Rowdy Roddy Piper, who was famous for wearing a kilt. This sci-fi film, about a construction worker who discovers that aliens disguised as humans run the world, has something that keeps viewers coming back. (Directed by John Carpenter, who did the original Halloween (1978) and one of my all-time favorite horror films, his remake of The Thing (1982). They Live pales next to those, but it's entertaining. Carpenter may be the king of the So Bad It's Good flicks.)
2: Phantom of the Paradise (1974) This movie, getting a Blu-ray release in August, has its fans, among them Bret Easton Ellis and the guys in Daft Punk. That doesn’t make it any less ridiculous. Loosely based on The Phantom of the Opera and Faust, the movie stars Paul Williams as a record producer haunted by a disfigured singer in a cape, shiny leather suit and silver helmet. This rock opera from Brian De Palma manages to outcamp even The Rocky Horror Picture Show. (I tried to watch it once, hated it.)
3: The Room (2003) Writer, director and star Tommy Wiseau set out to make an emotional drama about a group of California friends. What he ended up with is an amateurish mess, full of dead-end subplots and unintentionally funny acting — the chief offender being the oddly accented Wiseau, who can’t even deliver a line like, “Oh, hi, Mark,” without launching a million snickering YouTube views. (I don't recall having ever heard of it.)
4: Spider-Man (1977) This early attempt to produce a live-action story of the superhero is not pretty. Spidey’s costume looks like it was sewn in a home-ec class, while the wall-crawling effect involves camera trickery so basic audiences will see right through it. (I haven't seen it, but I love the first Tobey Maguire version.)
5: Troll 2 (1990) So awful it spawned a documentary, Best Worst Movie (2009), which attempts to explain how things went wrong. It started when filmmaker Claudio Fragasso set out to make a sequel to Troll (1986). Only the two movies had no connection, and the follow-up didn’t even feature a troll. Instead, it was about a family terrorized by killer goblins. Most of the actors were amateur Americans, the crew Italians who didn’t speak English. You can imagine how that went. (I've never seen it.)
6: Reefer Madness (1936) The heavy-handed propaganda film tells the story of teenagers led down the path of “enslavement” by marijuana — the “burning weed with its roots in hell!” (I've never seen it or any of the Cheech and Chong flicks.)
7: Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1952). While stuck on an island, two comedians, Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo, imitating Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, mingle with the natives and run afoul of a mad scientist, Lugosi, who cooks up a potion that turns Mitchell into a gorilla. (I doubt I'd be able to sit through something like this at this stage of my life, even Plan Nine from Outer Space, which also starred Mr. Lugosi, who died mid-production.)
8: Cobra (1986) As a cop versus a murderous cult, Sylvester Stallone is a tough guy with mirrored sunglasses and a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. It’s like an action movie parody, with such one-liners as: “You’re a disease, and I’m the cure.” I've seen only parts of it. I can take only small doses of Stallone.
9: Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) You’ve got to laugh out loud as this story of a family stumbling upon a satanic cult unspools. Lighting that looks like it depended on two AA batteries? Check. Corny dialogue? Check. An incongruous jazz score? Check. Available on YouTube, if you dare. (It's the first I've heard of it.)
10: Road House (1989) The story of a bouncer, Patrick Swayze, working at a Missouri bar hardly gets more magical than the scene in which he visits a doctor to get patched up and is asked if he wants an anesthetic. When the tough guy refuses, the doctor asks if he enjoys pain. “Pain don’t hurt,” Swayze replies. (I was miffed when Swayse beat up Terry Funk, one of my all-time favorite wrestlers. Then I thought: "You know, he is in a lot better shape than the man from the Double Cross Ranch.")
Here's a stat that should not surprise anyone: In the first decade of the new millennium, revenue for tattoo removal has been 75.5 million. I wish there were some way of investing in a stock for it. In my corner of Brooklyn alone, there are thousands of unsightly toos on display every day. I wouldn't be surprised if 25% were removed in time.
Ten years ago, Rory McIroy's dad, Gerry, and three friends, bet 400 pounds that his son would win the British Open before he turned 26. Today Rory finished his wire to wire victory, going 17-under, to win his third major title. He lacks only the Masters' green jacket to complete the Grand Slam, which only a handful of golfers have earned. The bet will pay off $340,000 American, 85 grand per man.
My thanks to the kind folks who purchased items today on Bay Parkway.
Vic's 4th Novel: http://tinyurl.com/bszwlxh
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Vic's Website: http://members.tripod.com/vic_fortezza/Literature/
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Vic's 1st Novel: http://tiny.cc/94t5h
Vic's Horror Screenplay on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/cyckn3
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Vic’s Short Story on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/k95k3nx
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