I once read an
op-ed piece on how hypocrites were the worst kind of people. I don’t remember
much about the article other than that I did not agree with its premise. The
author was so adamant that I questioned whether I knew the true meaning of
hypocrisy. Of course, we should try our best to avoid it, but I would argue
that circumstances often lead us to it in an effort to create a greater good.
It is a foible all too human and universal, and certainly far from the worst of
us. Machiavelli spoke of the necessity of it in leaders. I’ll reduce it to
everyday people.
For instance, should
a smoker refrain from telling his children not to smoke? As I see it, by
definition it would make him a hypocrite, even if he is suffering an addiction
that leaves him unable to quit a habit he knows may be lethal. Does only
someone who has never smoked carry the moral weight to preach against the evils
of demon weed? Has an ex-smoker gained that privilege? Does the fact that he
would move to keep others from this form of rebellion, of fun he once enjoyed,
make him a hypocrite? I suspect most would agree that a smoker should warn his
children of the perils of smoking and that one who didn’t or encouraged the
practice was negligent. And what if such reasoning is applied to the more
serious issues of drug and alcohol usage? Some drug counselors were once users.
AA was created by alcoholics. If they are hypocrites, I say hooray for
hypocrisy.
Many scoff at the
sins of priests. Should the fact that they are as vulnerable as the rest of us
preclude them from preaching against sin? Applied to the general population,
such reasoning would eliminate everyone from rendering counsel. What type of
world would that create? Of course, our standard should always be to refrain
from sin, impossible as it is. Many often cite Jesus’ words in their own self-defense:
“He among you who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” This was not a
rationale for sin, which his ensuing words to Mary Magdalene, so conveniently
overlooked by what is negative in our humanity, illustrate: “Go and sin no
more.” Jesus insisted to Peter that perfection was possible. He appealed to
what was best in his “rock.” Nowadays we seem to shrug and accept sin as
inevitable rather than as something to combat. The prevailing message of modern
film and music is one of helplessness, hopelessness, of a rationale for sin.
For the record, I’m
agnostic, so, technically, I’m a hypocrite for quoting Jesus. I’m doubly so
because I would never tell a child that I doubted the existence of God, as the
denial of a higher authority might be troubling to the very young and might
give license to aberration to those whose hormones are raging.
Until the late
‘60’s, popular music, even in songs of heartbreak and rebellion, was almost
exclusively about positive messages, chiefly love that lasted a lifetime. Somehow,
the intelligent questioning of life by the likes of Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell
and Bruce Springsteen has evolved to a rejection of decency by many modern
artists. In the words of Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, we are “defining
deviancy down.” I suppose a conservative like me is a hypocrite for citing
someone with whom I’d otherwise never agreed.
As an antidote to
the ugliness that tops the current charts, I’ve taken to listening to standards.
A friend has segued to modern country. Does the personal history of Frank
Sinatra make his singing of a song like Bart Howard’s Fly Me to the Moon (“…you are all
I long for….” “…please be true….”) hypocritical? If so, we should be grateful.
The recording, arranged by Quincy Jones and backed by the Count Basie Orchestra,
touches that part of the soul that longs for elevation. The best of Sinatra
lives, the worst has passed. I suppose that modern artists who call to our
hormones are proponents of the truth, of what is real. What is their aim – a
widespread groping similar to this year’s Super Bowl halftime antics? I guess
we’re already there to a degree greater than we’re willing to admit. There is
abundant proof on the internet and in stories I read and hear concerning behavior
in high school and on college campuses. And we shrug. We’ve even come to shrug
at abortion. Only 40 years ago it was considered abomination. And many insist
that we are puritanical. We are more like the French every day. In ten years
what may we expect – “The Triple X Halftime Show,” and in 30 – “The NAMBLA
Halftime Show”? We have created an adolescent’s paradise. Saul Bellow, writing
of a previous generation, described it best: “…death is God….” – paraphrased:
“Only death is real, therefore only the moment matters.” Although there was
much to dislike about the halftime show, all focus seemed to be on the bared
breast, an immature, desperate act designed to boost record sales, inappropriate
for broadcast TV, however beautiful the breast might be. I was reminded of the
promotion that preceded the debut of NYPD
Blue, wherein a bared butt was deemed a sign of the growing maturity of
American television. Had the butt been female, I might have made a hypocrite of
myself and watched.
I hope these fears
are just the silly hand wringing of a conservative or perhaps the envy of
someone too repressed to partake in the sexual revolution. What is left for me
but to hope that liberals are right? They’ve won in a rout, culturally and
fiscally. Perhaps the fact that the likes of Nora Jones and Diana Krall have
been able to crack the charts proves these fears are groundless.
Does a woman
traumatized by the termination of a pregnancy have the right to warn others of
her travail? In the opinion of columnist Garry Wills, opponents of abortion who
do not bomb clinics, myself included, are hypocrites. As far as I know, he has
never dubbed as hypocrites those opponents of capital punishment, himself
included, who do not storm prisons to free those on death row. The omission is
a hypocrisy that condemns what he believes endangers the greater good, that is,
execution. Obviously, he believes abortion promotes the greater good.
And what about
parents who have had multiple sexual partners, even those who have been
faithful to their wedding vows – are they hypocritical if their counsel is more
than condoms and birth control? I’ve yet to hear a single feminist complain
that the actions of Mr. Timberlake might encourage hormonally enflamed males to
imitate it – or to do worse. Is that hypocrisy or are they adhering to the
greater good of sexual freedom? More likely, they are reluctant to attack
anything left of center, where they believe the greater good lies. For years
they condemned executive males who took sexual advantage of female underlings,
then fell silent when their champion did so in the Oval Office.
Am I a hypocrite
when I deny each lewd or violent impulse, each slur that occurs to me? I hope
it is the triumph of values and will. I always thought the measure of a man was
the channeling of libido into accomplishment. The goal of many now seems
strictly sexual. One reason for the invention of marriage was to allow people
an outlet for the demands of the libido. This has been a foundation of
civilization that has served it extremely well. What do we now call those who
honor the vow of marriage: Sucker? Fool? Loser? Hypocrite? Isn’t it preferable
to be a hypocrite to libido than to one’s word?
I worry that Bin
Laden is right about us. I have the utmost confidence in our warrior class, but
the rest of us seem to demand comfort at any price. And Republicans are now
competing with liberals to be enablers of that comfort. Are they hypocrites or
realists who try, futilely, to find the most cost-effective ways of providing
programs, thus ensuring the greater good of a vibrant economy, without which we
would all be lost? My hunch is that they are praying the genius of the private
sector will continue to bail them out. I fear that the point of no return has
been passed, that the mediocrity of socialism is inevitable. I suspect that all
the money that was poured into the stock market was, other than a desire to get
rich quick, a vote of no-confidence on the future of Social Security and
Medicare. Hopefully, the economy will continue to run ahead of the government
vacuum so that we will never have to see if morality and ethics really matter.
I used to be a
sports fanatic. I rarely watch any more. I can’t stand the behavior of many
athletes. Modesty and sportsmanship are lost. It began with Muhammad Ali, who
was influenced by Gorgeous George, a professional wrestler. Such behavior is
appropriate for wrestling, which is a silly show, not true competition. Its
entry into athletics has cheapened it. Recently, the New York Post ran a photograph from the ‘50’s that accompanied an
article by Phil Mushnick, the foremost critic of modern sports culture. The
picture was of battered hockey opponents looking each other in the eye and
shaking hands. I immediately recalled Billy Smith, the goaltender on the New
York Islanders four straight Stanley Cup champion teams. He refused to
participate in traditional post-series handshakes, claiming it was hypocritical
to salute an opponent one despised. He allowed himself to be governed by his
baser instincts. Those two battered players rose above them, reached for what
is best in man. Hypocrisy won the day.
Although I’m 53, I
still cling to the wild hope that a woman will suffer temporary insanity and
have the children of this dinosaur. Although I’ve visited x-rated sites and
viewed x-rated films, although I’ve written violent and sexually explicit
scenes, although I’ve smoked ten cigarettes and four joints in my life,
although I was fresh with women and occasionally behaved abominably on the
athletic field, I would counsel my children to never do such things. I would
gladly be a hypocrite in order to protect them, to show them the right path.
Given modern culture, it will be an uphill fight.
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