It's St. Patrick's Day. Top o' the evening. Here's a list of jokes and sayings from Irishcentral.com:
1. Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died. The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife. The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.” The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!” The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”
2. An Irish two-seater light aircraft crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers recovered more than 1826 bodies.
3. There are only three kinds of men who don’t understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men. - Irish saying
4. Never iron a four leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.
5. The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t got the joke yet.
6. The Irish way -- Now don’t be talking about yourself while you’re here. We’ll surely be doing that after you leave.
7. Irish Blessing -- As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
8. Old Irish Curse -- May those that love us love us, and those that don’t love us, may God turn their hearts. If He can’t turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles, so we’ll know them by their limping!
9. Irish diplomacy -- the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they’ll look forward to the trip.
10. Try to say “Irish wristwatch.”
And my personal favorite, checked at angelfire.com for accurcy: "May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven a half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Erin go bragh.
Kudos once again to U.S. Special Forces, who re-took -- without firing a shot -- a tanker hijacked by anti-government Libyans. I'll say it again: if only the rest of government worked half as well as our military.
Last month GM recalled 3.1 million cars because of faulty ignition switches, a problem that goes back to 2001 and has resulted in 12 deaths. Better late than never, I guess. No doubt this will cost the company a lot of greenbacks.
I must have turned green in the dentist chair today, where I sat for two hours as he worked on a cavity under a cap. Last week he shored up some erosion below the gum line of several teeth. He is the husband of one of my customers. I thought I'd returned the favor, especially since she was nice enough to stop and browse despite having four kids under eight in tow. I'll put it this way: I'll never break even on the deal. At least the hit from car inspection was relatively small, although the mechanic said the front brakes will have to be replaced soon. By the time I got the Hyundai back I didn't feel like suffering a cold day trying to sell books, especially after having suffered enough in the dentist's chair. Back at 'em tomorrow.
Vic's 4th Novel: http://tinyurl.com/bszwlxh
Vic's 3rd Novel: http://tinyurl.com/7e9jty3
Vic's Website: http://members.tripod.com/vic_fortezza/Literature/
Vic's Short Story Collection (Print or Kindle): http://www.tiny.cc/Oycgb
Vic's 2nd Novel: http://tinyurl.com/6b86st6
Vic's 1st Novel: http://tiny.cc/94t5h
Vic's Horror Screenplay on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/cyckn3
Vic's Rom-Com Screenplay on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/kny5llp
Vic’s Short Story on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/k95k3nx
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