The Writer's Lifer 8/13 - Rim Shots

Okay, break out the snare drum.
IT’S SO HOT THAT…
…I saw a fire hydrant chasing down a dog!
…I went outside for a smoke and the cigarette lit itself!
…I’m sweating like a politician on election day!
…all the bread in the store is toast!
… the cows are giving evaporated milk!
… the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground!
…your car overheats before you drive it!
… you got condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl!
…Lance Armstrong tested positive for water!
…my Reese’s peanut butter cups turned into Reese’s peanut butter shooters!
…my change melted into a medallion in my purse!
…I saw a coyote chasing a jack rabbit and they were both walking!
And the winner is... It's so hot I left the toilet seat up just to get an icy stare from my wife.

The only way I was opening the floating book shop today is if one of six parking spots along a tree-lined, meter-less stretch was available. I had to leave the car running to keep the AC going. I gave it 20 minutes, then bailed. Meter rules don't apply tomorrow, but it's supposed to be even hotter, which is hard to believe. A sign at the recycling center warned that the door was to be kept closed. The books and trinkets sale was done inside the library. I brought a crossword puzzle, as it is really hard to concentrate on reading with the racket that goes on in there these days.
Vic's Short Works: http://tinyurl.com/jy55pzc

Vic's 5th Novel: http://tinyurl.com/okxkwh5Vic's 4th novel: tinyurl.com/bszwlxh

Vic's 3rd Novel: http://tinyurl.com/7e9jty3

Vic's Short Story on Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/k95k3nx
Vic's Short Story Collection: http://www.tiny.cc/Oycgb
Vic's 2nd Novel: http://tiny.cc/0iHLb Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/kx3d3uf
Vic's 1st Novel: http://tinyurl.com/l84h63j

Website: http://vicfortezzaauthor.my-free.website/

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