The Writer's Life 6/11 - The Judge & the Cowboy

Here's something out of an old porno. According to Yahoo News, a judge who was censured for having sex with two women in his chambers has handily won reelection in Orange County. Scott Steiner got 56% of the vote, according to unofficial results from the county registrar. Steiner has been a Superior Court judge since 2011. The Los Angeles Times says he was censured by the Commission on Judicial Performance in 2014 for having sex with two women — his intern and a practicing lawyer — in chambers. Way to bang that gavel, judge. This gives new meaning to that old phrase from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In: "Here come de judge." Rim-shot.

Yee-ha! Also from Yahoo: A rancher jumped on his horse and lassoed a man who was trying to steal a bicycle in the parking lot of an Oregon Wal-Mart. Robert Borba was loading dog food and a camping tent into his truck when he heard a woman screaming. The 28-year-old led his horse, Long John, out of its trailer, grabbed a rope, and rode over to the man, who was struggling with the bike gears and attempting to flee on foot. Borba lassoed the guy around the legs and dragged him to one end of the parking lot. He said: "I seen this fella trying to get up to speed on a bicycle. I wasn't going to catch him on foot. I just don't run very fast. I use a rope every day, that's how I make my living. If it catches cattle pretty good, it catches a bandit pretty good." (Edited by yours truly)

Sometimes movies fall through the cracks. I'd never seen The Holcroft Covenant (1985), based on the novel by the wildly popular Robert Ludlum. I don't even remember having heard of it. Now I know why. Despite an interesting storyline, it is a complete misfire, despite the talent that worked on it: director John Frankenheimer (Birdman of alcatraz {1962}), screenwriters Edward Anhalt (Becket {1964}) and George Axelrod (The Manchurian Candidate {1962}, and Michael Caine in the lead. It never rises to convincing.

My thanks to the gentleman who purchased Thomas Harris' Red Dragon and the humorous book on Stupid Crooks, and to Bad News Billy, who overpaid for a self defense video/audio cassette package. After leaving the bank, he was off to church to light a candle, hoping for divine intervention on his patent idea, which is under review. Best of luck, sir.

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